This is one of my rare emo moments, when I feel that everything about life is so dull and grey. I have no idea how this feeling came about, but it just did. Happened when I was talking to xh online. Think she could feel it too, cos she kept asking me if I was ok, but I didn't know how to explain how I was feeling, or the reasons I felt that way. But slowly, after some time, I managed to crystalise my emotions into the four words above. Lost, tired, disappointed, lonely.
It's like I am stuck in a maze, and I cannot find my way out. I lost all sense of direction, all I see is the darkness that surrounds me. I used to know the path that I aspire to take, the path that seems to just be lying ahead of me, but now the path is slowly dissolving before my very eyes. Lost.
Tired. Fatigue. For the past 4 days now, it has been training non stop. And it's not just one training, it's at least 2 trainings back to back. Insert the lessons before that, and you will end up with a very tired person. I'm getting burnt out, so much so that I no longer feel like training for anything at all. The tiredness is constantly there, and I feel sleepy all the time, which is affecting my studies.
Disappointment is the easiest to explain. I shall sum it all up in 2 words - Hall Three. The golden days of hall 3 are over. How I miss those days, with joo tian at the head of the jcrc, leading us to victory after victory. In case some of you do not know what I am talking about, I am referring to the Inter Hall Games. I no longer feel any pride in being part of hall 3. The pride and passion has been lost. Even our so called leaders of the hall have no idea how lousy a job they are doing. I tried to feedback many times, but they were more preoccupied trying to defend themselves. Oh well, I give up...
Loneliness is the most obvious. It's cos you are not here with me. It's also because of the fakes around me.
